Stop! Don’t spend money on your children this Christmas

“Spend like I say, not like I do”? 

We get real money lessons for both kids and parents this Christmas from the Money Podcast’s Justin Harrison – watch for everything from gift-giving no-nos to why you should NOT empty your purse this festive season!

Brought to you by Fedhealth, Epi-max & Jacaranda 94.2.

By giving them too much and not allowing them to dream and reach we're actually taking away the biggest gift from them and I call it being a journey thief. As parents we are actually journey thieves we giving our kids too much of the wrong stuff and too little of the good stuff.

So you're probably wondering who we're chatting to today? Justin Harrison is the CEO at Team Six investment holdings and he's the host and the owner of a podcast called the money podcast with David Bester. I had the privilege of chatting with them on Jacaranda FM and I was like we have to do a podcast with them on babybrunch.co.za and you can find them on globalmoneyacademy.com also on Jacaranda's Jackpot platform and follow them on Instagram as well as on Facebook at global money academy. Again their website globalmoneyacademy.com.

Now Justin, December feels like a time where we just want to spend our money and most of us need to find it somewhere, why do we feel that way, why do we have the urge that Boney M's song makes us a Christmas tree, if I see a light a Christmas light [Laughter], I want to buy gifts. What is that emotion, why do we have the emotion of wanting to spend on our children for Christmas whether you celebrate it or not. Kook Elana before I say what I'm going to say I need to make it very well known that I’ve made a career out of being unpopular, I have the unpopular opinion, I say things not for what people want to hear, for what people need to hear, right, and so often the things that I say touch an emotional point and I personally think we have completely lost the plot when it comes to Christmas. We've gotten away from what the meaning of Christmas is and even if you don't celebrate Christmas we've got away from what the meaning of the December holidays is. it's a time of family it's a time to be together it's a time to spend our efforts and our time on the things that we didn't get to do the entire year and I think that's why everybody looks forward to it. In addition to which we have this deep-rooted emotional desire to be recognized whether it's through our peers or whether it's through our kids and December is often that time when all of these emotions come together and people just completely and utterly take all the budgeting off the table, they take all the logic off the table and they just dive headfirst with emotions and the retailers, by the way, are really good at this, the brands are really good at figuring out how to tap into those emotions. That's why Boney M is playing in the background, that's why there's tinsel and glitter everywhere, it puts us in the mood but the fact of the matter is if I can take everybody just away from that emotion for a second, what you're actually experiencing is consumerism being funnelled in emotional direction and that's where the problem is and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to spoil your kids, it's a natural inclination but I think we're doing it in the wrong way, we're doing it with material items and therein lies the problem.

Do you think we should spend on big gifts when it comes to our children? Quick answer! Absolutely not! Absolutely not! I think it's important to teach your kids what these holidays are about, it's important to teach them that it's more than material items and beyond that, you definitely don't want to create expectation and entitlement with your kids and often the kids that are spoiled the most and given everything the most are usually the most unsuccessful in life because they've never had to reach, they've never had to walk over broken glass to get to where they need to go and in fact, this is a debate that I often have with a lot of my mates who have kids and I say we're actually trying to empower our kids but we're actually disempowering them by giving them too much and not allowing them to dream and reach. We're actually taking away the biggest gift from them and I call it being a journey thief as parents we are actually journey thieves we giving our kids too much, too much of the wrong stuff and too little of the good stuff.

Wow! Okay, so December is the splash it's the party time when is the hangover? The hangover is definitely in January, and this is the biggest problem. I think everybody tries to make provision for the December holidays, everybody will go out of their way to build up some extra savings, maybe make sure they've got extra limits on their credit cards which is most often what we see and then what happens January rolls around you've got to buy uniforms you know you've got to put the kids into school you've probably got deposits to pay on things and all of a sudden there isn't money, so what do consumers do, what does the average person do especially the moms. The moms will try and access money by any means possible, be that extending themselves through loans, getting happy to extend the mortgage on the house whatever the means is and what happens is for the next 12 months the entire family suffers, and Elana this is where the problem comes in. For the next 12 months or at least the next 11 months that entire family is burdened emotionally with the debt from December and that spills into every aspect of your daily life. It makes you make poor decisions; it gives you poor relationships with your spouse, it gives you a poor relationship with your kids and that pressure just is absolutely not necessary. We can avoid it, we can absolutely avoid it by focusing on the thing that's important which is giving your kids the one thing which I’ve been looking for the entire year and it's not material, it's your time. 

Now I love the answer because I was going to ask you so what should we give them instead? You are one of the few money leaders that have taught me that money and values go hand in hand we are journey thieves as parents because we're teaching them the wrong values by just giving them everything that they want, that we can't afford actually.

The words and the language that we use around our kids specifically around money is exactly what their future is going to be, and you'll be amazed that when you change the daily routines and habits around money. When you change the traditions around money you will see how your kids would change. My daughter who's just turned 11 runs two businesses and has more money saved up than most adults that I know and that is because we changed her perspective we changed her reality by shifting the focus so the reason why it's important not to just give material items. The reason why it's important to put time in and in part lessons, is because that is our responsibility as parents is to create a better generation in the future and if we are going to create a better generation we have to change the narrative today but we cannot use that old saying that our parents used to say do as I say not as I do because the kids learn from exactly what we do what we say has to be consistent with what we do and that's what makes the difference.

Quick fire:

What did you do with your first million?

 Stupid, I bought a house, a car, two jet skis, a 4x4 and a boat. My house was like MTV cribs and I had I mean I was 21 at the time, in fact, I hadn't even turned 21. I had to get my parents to co-sign on the property for me even though I was buying the property cash um and the reality of the situation is it all disappeared within probably 14 months.

How many credit cards do you have? 

Zero. 

If someone met you at a shopping mall and they go hey aren't you that money podcast guy gives me some quick advice because I’ve spent all my money and it's the beginning of December how can I recover?

You have to pull back on everything, you have to go and sit down draw up a budget and don't do a budget based on what you like, do it do a budget based on what's actually in your account what you're actually earning.  You know and I say this for the ladies Elana, and I get caught in the shopping centre all the time by the way, and I always say this to the ladies and sometimes some of the ladies hate me for it but I always say this is this most ladies think a budget is a target it isn't a target.

Listen I mean I make my own money okay I work really hard that was really funny because I’ve never thought about it that way make a budget about the amount of money that you have in your bank account it's not a target I really like that. 

Okay so money should be value-based we learned we learned about teaching our children the philosophy of not just receiving but also giving, all children want is I love, and they want our time. I'm actually crying. Money amplifies someone's personality; um you need to also remember that money is a resource and that we need to be careful.

What's your message to everyone this Christmas?

I would like to say to everyone that exactly what you've just said, show me how you spend your time, show me how you spend your money and I’ll show you what's important to you. If you're going out there simply splashing on material items to keep your kids happy what you're actually telling the world is that the material items are important. I encourage everyone to take money a little bit more seriously tighten your hands around money a little bit but not to the point where it becomes your god. Money is a tool it's a resource you shouldn't be obsessing about it to the point where it changes your personality and if we can impart those lessons with our kids not only are we going to be giving them the love that they deserve but we're giving them the future that they deserve.

Justin, you got me. Merry Christmas!